These words spoken by Director of The London School of Economics, Minouche Shafik, in an interview last year ring true: ‘In the past jobs were about muscles, now they’re about brains, but in future they’ll be about the heart.’ The truth is our best work always has been about the heart. And the good news…

After years of work as a ceramic artist, Kenny Sing of Turn Studio has created a series of shallow vessels which double as zoetrope animations when spun. His project, Trepō, transfers digital patterns onto the one-of-a-kind curves of his ceramic platters. The patterns are then either precisely cut from or glazed onto their surface. These elements act as static designs until they are activated by a pottery wheel. More

That 90s Look is Coming Back: Dear God Brand Identity

abduzeedoJan 16, 2019

The fashion industry is notorious for its massive waste problem; the big business is frequently called out for being one of the largest polluters globally. According to The New York Times, nearly three-fifths of all clothing ends up in incinerators or landfills within a year of being produced. …

Continue reading

Dear colleagues,

There is no escaping the widespread dissatisfaction within modern academia. With neoliberal upper management, bloated administration, recklessly expanded undergraduate programs, and shrinking departmental budgets, there isn’t much to be optimistic about. Those joining the ranks can look forward to bleak job prospects, excessive teaching loads, and writing stupefying grant proposals. All disciplines will have to adjust to the changing landscape. Within the sphere of pure mathematics — the oldest and most successful of humanity’s intellectual endeavors — I believe our best chance at preserving the integrity and dignity of our tradition is to return to our Pythagorean roots. We should become a cult.

Let us do away with the job market and mathjobs.com and reference letters. Let us stop pretending we understand each other’s respective sub-fields. Let us abandon those fuck-ugly Brutalist travesties we call our department buildings and leave them to those shills in applied math. Let us seclude ourselves in mountain caves and daub mysterious equations in blood across rock-faces to ward off outsiders. Let us embrace our most impenetrable mathematical texts as sacred and requiring divinely distributed revelation.

I am imagining a kind of Gnostic mystery religion. Rather than force hordes of undergraduates to sit through basic calculus, we deny our precious knowledge to those unwilling to undergo a yearlong induction process involving physical and psychological trials, menial servitude, and a restrictive vegan diet. From a pragmatic perspective, it would also be a good opportunity to ensure that the hopeful novices understand how fucking fractions work.

I am convinced that the current system has dulled our understanding of the value we offer through our instruction. Modern mathematical techniques are the foundation of modern science, medicine, and technology, and we should be the literal, rather than metaphorical, high priests of this temple. Only by withholding our insights will we be able to reassert the intrinsic worth of our knowledge. And smaller class sizes would be great.

It is time we did away with “publish or perish” and replace it with “publish and perish.” Nothing will be more blasphemous than writing a textbook that anyone can go out and buy. Those who commit such a crime will face expulsion and reprisals. Our CVs won’t list the prestigious journals in which we have published, but rather our reputations will be the rumors of our arcane wisdom. And if we write anything down at all, it will be in code.

Practice exams, grade-grubbing, and final mark scaling will a thing of the past. Whatever trials are devised to replace the current examinations, the students will have only whispers to go on. Future employers won’t ask to see transcripts, but rather the strange scars and tattoos borne by those who have survived.

The next time I sit down and write a grant proposal, I will spare the committee my 500 words explaining how I will “disseminate and communicate my results to my peers and the wider public.” Instead, I will give a description of the elaborate ceremony of revelation – a ritual involving head-dresses, body paint, powerful hallucinogens, and animal sacrifice.

I don’t imagine that my vision will be met with enthusiasm by all my colleagues. I fear that too many of us have become accustomed to the trappings of a profession. The office. Job titles. Faculty dinners. A respectable salary. Travel reimbursements. My proposal will not make any of us richer. Financially, at least. But I believe that it will return much-needed vitality to our practice. And while Gnosticism promised an ultimate revelation to those who pursued it, we can offer our own ultimate, most guarded secret: how little each of us really knows.

Best of luck to all of you on the job market right now,
Daniel J. Woodhouse

There are two reasons we say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’. The first is pretty obvious. It gives the other person dignity. It acknowledges their humanity. It implies that at some level, this engagement is voluntary. But of course, none of this is true when we’re talking to Siri or Alexa. There’s a second reason. It […]

New Yorker Aakash Nihalani is a master with tape, using it to create eye-catching optical illusions. Born in 1986 in Queens and currently based in Brooklyn, Nihalani was dazzled when…

The loudspeakers at John F. Kennedy International Airport in New York City have been playing…unusual music.

From the minds that brought you TOUGH MUDDER, the WARRIOR DASH, and SPARTAN RACE comes … NAVIGATING YOUR DEPRESSION — the latest in ultra-tough obstacle-course competitions for adults!

If you love an extreme challenge, then NAVIGATING YOUR DEPRESSION is the obstacle course for you. Forget what you’ve heard about those other races… participants in NAVIGATING YOUR DEPRESSION are given the ULTIMATE warrior’s task: just making it through a single goddamn day!

Sound crazy?! It literally is!

But that’s not all: while trying to complete the course, our Serotonin Spartans will also have to deal with our world-famous obstacles! In Tough Mudder, those obstacles include the Mud Mile, Everest 2.0, and a barbed-wire crawl! In Spartan Race, you’ll face the sled drag, the seven-foot wall, and the Hercules Hoist! In NAVIGATING YOUR DEPRESSION, you’ll face our world-famous obstacles like PUT ON SOME PANTS.

The PUT ON SOME PANTS obstacle is a brutal test of will, so don’t worry: if you can’t manage to get into a real pair of jeans, you’ll be allowed to continue the race if you can at least put on a DIFFERENT pair of pants. Fresh sweats are at least… something! But that’s not all …

Once you’ve PUT ON SOME PANTS, there’s no time to relax! Hop the Unexplained Pain Partition, sprint up Restlessness Road, and you’ll run straight into your first WATER OBSTACLE! Specifically, the water is in a SHOWER, and the obstacle is you need to TAKE A SHOWER. As with all water obstacles, we have a crew standing by for emergencies, but also to shout encouragement, like, “Come on, man, it’s such a small thing, but it will make you feel like a new person. It’ll take five minutes. Please? For me?”

WHEW. Two obstacles down, a lifetime more to go! Hope you didn’t get too cozy after that last water obstacle, because things are about to get messy! Scale the Crag of Uncontrollable Crying, crawl through the Mud of Muddled Thinking, and just like that, you’re coming up to Obstacle 3, which is GO OUTSIDE FOR LIKE TWO SECONDS. You don’t get to move on in the course until you GO OUTSIDE FOR LIKE TWO SECONDS and remember what real air smells like! Flowers exist, you idiot! Take a big damn sniff!

This course is RELENTLESS, but we know our Dopamine Divas and Dudes won’t give up! Dig deep to sprint through Anxiety Alley, take a break with some Off-Road Sobbing, and then muscle up and get yourself through Obstacle #4: TAKE YOUR MEDS. No excuses this time! Oh, you were starting to feel better so you decided to skip a few days? Look: you can either dominate this obstacle and TAKE YOUR MEDS, or you can have brain zaps and finish the course nauseous and weepy. Your choice, Wellbutrin Warrior!

If you think that was tough, then think again. You’re going to shimmy through the Trouble Concentrating Trap, Scale the Wall of Unexplainable Sadness, and then, oh boy, here comes Obstacle #5: GIVE A TRUTHFUL ANSWER TO YOUR DOCTOR WHEN SHE ASKS YOU ABOUT YOUR DRINKING! This word game is more of a thinking-person’s obstacle, but careful — if any of our officials catch you using the phrases “a few” or “a moderate amount,” then we’re blowing a whistle and you go RIGHT BACK TO THE BEGINNING OF THE COURSE!

Obstacle #6 is deceptively simple, but it’s the one where most people fail. After completing the Loss of Interest Ladder Climb, you’re going to hit the penultimate obstacle, the one that requires you to dig into your deepest well of strength and STOP LISTENING TO MITSKI. Yeah. We went there. Dig deep, Angsty Athletes, and STOP LISTENING TO MITSKI. IT’S NOT HELPING ANYTHING.

The rare few who survive obstacle #6 will round the Bend of Blubbering, climb the Wall of Waking at 3 p.m., and head for the grand finale. And for the seventh and final obstacle, you’re gonna get MESSY! Specifically, you will meet with one close friend in the middle of a muddy field, and they will ask how you are doing. Here’s where it gets messy: to complete the course, you must GIVE THEM AN HONEST ANSWER THAT DOESN’T ATTEMPT TO PROTECT THEIR FEELINGS BY DIMINISHING YOUR OWN PAIN. Wowza! This obstacle is just about impossible, but you’ll have fans cheering you on from the sidelines, yelling your name and chanting, “BY PUSHING AWAY YOUR FRIENDS AND LOVED ONES, YOU ARE TURNING DEPRESSION’S LIE THAT NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOU INTO A SELF–FULFILLING PROPHECY. FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE, GIVE YOUR FRIENDS THE CHANCE TO BE THERE FOR YOU!” Catchy, right?

FAQ

I can’t find the “sign up” tab on your website. Where is it?
You can’t find the “sign up” tab on our website because no one signs up for this. Participants join our competition not so much by signing up as they do by suddenly waking up one day to find that this is just… what they’re doing now.

How much does it cost to participate in NAVIGATING YOUR DEPRESSION?
Depends on how good your insurance is! But… probably a lot!

My grandmother or grandfather participated in NAVIGATING YOUR DEPRESSION. Am I guaranteed a spot?
This isn’t the Ivy League — we don’t guarantee spots for legacies! That said, the more people in your immediate family who have participated in NAVIGATING YOUR DEPRESSION, the more likely it is that you will, too.

During my time on the NAVIGATING YOUR DEPRESSION obstacle course, I encountered an unexpected obstacle that I hadn’t been warned about. Please explain.
We don’t really know what to say, except that sometimes small, unexpected things happen on the NAVIGATING YOUR DEPRESSION course, and your main job is to just try and deal with it instead of what you usually do, which is to turn a harmless event into a referendum on why you’re undeserving of love.

Are performance-enhancing drugs allowed?
Performance-enhancing drugs are not for everyone, but a lot of competitors find them to be extremely effective. If you’re competing in NAVIGATING YOUR DEPRESSION, we strongly encourage you to talk with your doctor about the use of performance-enhancing drugs.

How long will NAVIGATING YOUR DEPRESSION take?
Some racers will only stop by for a few weeks, while some will spend the rest of their lives navigating the course! Which will you be? It’s best not to think about it!

I trained for weeks to face the “TURN OFF MITSKI: IT’S NOT HELPING AND YOU KNOW IT” obstacle, but when I arrived, my course said that obstacle wasn’t available. What gives?
Availability of the TURN OFF MITSKI: IT’S NOT HELPING AND YOU KNOW IT obstacle varies by region. Your region may not have the TURN OFF MITSKI obstacle; depending on your location, you may instead have: TURN OFF ELLIOTT SMITH or TURN OFF JULIEN BAKER or TURN OFF LANA DEL REY or TURN OFF THE SMITHS or TURN OFF THE ANTLERS or TURN OFF SUFJAN STEVENS or TURN OFF JONI MITCHELL or TURN OFF THE MOUNTAIN GOATS or TURN OFF A SPOTIFY STATION THAT JUST PLAYS AIR RAID SIRENS. Please inquire beforehand to see which challenge you will face.

My friends keep casually talking about how they know what the competition is like because they’ve totally competed in NAVIGATING YOUR DEPRESSION before, even though I know for a fact that they haven’t. What are they talking about?
Your friends are confused. They’ve actually competed in our sister course, THE SADNESS RACE, which is infinitely shorter and easier and is only superficially affiliated with NAVIGATING YOUR DEPRESSION.

Is your course available seasonally or year round?
Yes.

British photographer Neil Burnell captures striking environments void of human subjects, often traveling to remote areas far outside of civilization. His ongoing series Mystical takes a look at the fairytale-like atmosphere created by the thick fog, gnarled trees, and moss-covered stones of Wistman’s Wood in Dartmoor, Devon, England. This particular wood has long been the subject of folklore and myth, with many writers describing it as the most haunted location in Dartmoor. More

Thanks to the nonprofit Little Free Library, chances are you have encountered a small house-like structure on a public thoroughfare, with a front door that opens to allow passersby to give or take a free book. The program exists in 88 countries, with over 75,000 registered Little Free Libraries. In addition to the goodwill-fueled, donation-based libraries, one of the charms is that each one is customized. Many sport unique paint jobs or even entirely off-the-wall architecture, like the Swedish flag-bedecked Library in the shape of a water tower, which pays homage to the real structure, a beloved fixture in the Andersonville neighborhood of Chicago. More